How do your wife is a mom?

How do you know when your wife is a mom? Well when you hear screaming from the basement that goes something like this.

"AHHHHH! It's everywhere. Jacob, stop moving! Oh! your getting it everywhere. Stop moving! What am I going to do with you? Aaron!"

I suddenly freeze and try to change colors like a chameleon and fade into the couch.

" Stop! Auwgh it is on your bed spread and carpet, stop wiggling. Jacob stop laughing your getting it on me. Aaron, come down here and get YOUR son."

I realize my apparent useless camouflaging technique is not working how I expected. So I go down and put my kid in the bathtub. Particles of poop sink to the bottom of the tub. hmmm can poop get clean?

That evening I am playing cribbage (beating her might I add) and I realize Jess has a some poop still ground into her jeans. Hmmm. I guess that is how you know your wife is a mom.